2015大学英语六级考试作文范文及点评(1)
在大学英语六级考试中,写作部分是不是会另很多同学头疼。不知如何下笔,写出来之后也不知道自己写的怎么样。为了让同学有更加清晰地写作思路,下面为为大家提供点评作文,希望能帮助到同学们。
My opinion on certificate craze
The growing tendency among college students to get all kinds of certificates has now evolved into a craze. Just randomly ask a student what he or she is busily engaged in doing, quite possibly, you would get the answer that he or she is preparing for a certificate of some kind. So, why’s the craze?
The reason behind this phenomenon is common — the enormous pressure of finding a job. Faced with a harsh job market, most students have no choice but to seek more certificates to parlay their qualifications. Another factor is that diploma and certificates still weighs heavily in terms of signifying one’s ability. For the sake of increasing their odds of landing a better job, the students are compelled to run from one exam to another.
Though I have an open mind toward the craze on certificates, I suggest that students should be more rational when it comes to certificates, since they do not necessarily tell their ability. Instead, they should be more involved in learning and capability boosting, thus, opportunities would come quite naturally.
文章点评:
这是一篇“中等偏上”的学生作文。 本文先对学生的考证热进行简介,引出全篇;接着分析这一现象背后的原因;整体看思路清晰,逻辑严密,行文流畅,句式多变,用语较为地道。
本篇亮点表达:
The growing tendency … has now evolved into…
be busily engaged in doing
The reason behind…
harsh job market
have no choice but to…
parlay their qualifications
sth. weighs heavily in terms of…
increasing one’s odds of…
be involved in doing …
be compelled to do…
have an open mind toward…
capability boosting
本文有待提高之处:
1. 文章结构上,能看得出该同学试图采用议论文的“三段式”(提出问题、分析问题、解决问题)。逻辑严谨,论证严密;句式表达灵活,用语较为地道。
2. 微观语言点方面,有个主谓一致的方面的错误(diploma and certificates still weighs heavily);有些语句稍显啰嗦,比quite possibly, you would get the answer that… 大可简化成you’d most likely be told that… 更好,意思没有丝毫减损,表达力反而增强许多;另外某些用语多重复,比如job多次出现;为了避免此类现象,文中的the enormous pressure of finding a job 不妨改为 the enormous pressure of getting employed。
从整体看,本篇文章不错,值得参考借鉴,不过用语方面还有待提高。
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