2013年英语四六级写作技巧：切忌过于依赖从句
2013-07-11 阅读 : 次
关于"but"的用法
中国人喜欢使用"but"从句：同中文一样，在英文中这也是连接两个短句的简单方法。要避免单一的"but"从句，可以考虑采用以下这些变化形式：
Plain: The children at school were familiar with many games, but Li Hua had never even heard of them.
Interesting: The children at school were familiar with games Li Hua had never even heard of.
Plain: The room was silent, but suddenly there was a clap of thunder outside.
Interesting: The silence of the room was broken by a sudden clap of thunder outside.
Plain: They were passionate lovers not only onstage but also off stage.
Better: They were passionate lovers onstage and off.
Plain: Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, not necessarily because she had a desire to smoke, but because she felt the need for warmth.
Better: Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, as much from the need for warmth as from any desire to smoke.
Plain: It was meant to be a brief kiss, but it turned into a long, lingering one.
Interesting: What was meant to be a brief kiss turned into a long, lingering one.
Plain: Music lightens life, but literature deepens it.
Interesting: Music lightens life; literature deepens it.
Plain: The film "Chariots of Fire" is about some young runners, but it is more than just that.
Interesting: The film "Chariots of Fire" is much more than just a story of young runners.
Plain: It is not his height but his weight that prevented him from competing in the race.
Interesting: His weight, not his height, prevented him from competing in the race.
Plain: Susan seemed unsuitable for the part, but she turned out to be the best actress in the production.
Interesting: Susan seemed unsuitable for the part, yet she turned out to be the best actress in the production.
Plain: Old Wang is often described as a happy-go-lucky person, but the last half hour of the hike home he was interested in nothing but a bath and a bed.
Interesting: Old Wang, an otherwise happy-go-lucky person, thought of only two things the last half hour of the hike home: a bath and a bed.
关于"if...then"和"if"从句
除了"but"从句，很多学英语的人还会过多使用"if … then"或是"if"从句。这些从句本身并不是不好。但我们这里讨论的是多样性及其必要性。看看下例：
Before: If you fail to pass the drug test, we will have to dismiss you from your job.
After: Failure to pass the drug test will result in job dismissal.
修改后的句子语气显得稍强一些。同时因为句中省掉了"you"，使句子在语气上减少了对抗性。这个解题对策适用于每种人称，不单单指"you"。
Plain: If one imitates, one cannot expect to be great.
Interesting: No person ever yet became great by imitation.
Plain: If we want to end a war quickly, we must lose it.
Interesting: The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.
Plain: If we were directed from government bureaucracy when to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread.
Interesting: Were we directed from government bureaucracy when to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread.
Plain: Several staff members have checked the manuscript to see if it is accurate and easy to use.
Interesting: Several staff members have checked the manuscript for accuracy and ease of use.
Plain: If words are taken out of context, they are not very likely to mean the same as they do when they are in context.
Interesting: Words taken out of context do not always mean what they do in context.
另一个被广为使用的从句是"even though"或"although"。请注意在此谈论的并不是句子的错误，我们强调的是文体风格问题。
Plain: Although they were very important in California, laundries were even more significant in other parts of the United States, for laundering was one of the four "pioneer" occupations that enabled Chinese to move eastward across the continent.
Interesting: Important as they were in California, laundries were even more significant in other parts of the United States, for laundering was one of the four "pioneer" occupations that enabled Chinese to move eastward across the continent.
Plain: Even though the summer of 1889 was the warmest on record, the winter of the same year was cold.
Interesting: The summer of 1889 was the warmest on record, followed by a cold winter.
关于"so...that..."或"such... that..."或"so..."从句
中国老师们经常大段大段地教授这些形式，并要求学生们不断练习。结果学生们过度依赖这些句式，就不怎么考虑别的用法了。
Plain: The comedian was so funny that as soon as he started talking people laughed.
Interesting: The comedian soon had them all laughing.
Plain: This is such an indispensable book that anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality should possess one.
Interesting: This is an indispensable book for anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality.
Plain: The professor was so quick-witted and so knowledgeable of the theater that he was instantly recognized as the best critic in his country.
Interesting: The professor’s quick wit and his awesome knowledge of the theater had won him instant recognition as the best critic in his country.
Plain: Jackie Chan was such a wonderful singer that his songs held eleven thousand people breathless.
Interesting: Jackie Chan’s songs held eleven thousand people breathless.
Weak: Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, so they could see only a blank wall surrounding them.
Better: Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, their only vista* a blank wall.
Plain: It was such an exhilarating experience that he felt dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.
Interesting: It was an exhilarating experience, one that left him dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.
中国人喜欢使用"but"从句：同中文一样，在英文中这也是连接两个短句的简单方法。要避免单一的"but"从句，可以考虑采用以下这些变化形式：
Plain: The children at school were familiar with many games, but Li Hua had never even heard of them.
Interesting: The children at school were familiar with games Li Hua had never even heard of.
Plain: The room was silent, but suddenly there was a clap of thunder outside.
Interesting: The silence of the room was broken by a sudden clap of thunder outside.
Plain: They were passionate lovers not only onstage but also off stage.
Better: They were passionate lovers onstage and off.
Plain: Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, not necessarily because she had a desire to smoke, but because she felt the need for warmth.
Better: Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, as much from the need for warmth as from any desire to smoke.
Plain: It was meant to be a brief kiss, but it turned into a long, lingering one.
Interesting: What was meant to be a brief kiss turned into a long, lingering one.
Plain: Music lightens life, but literature deepens it.
Interesting: Music lightens life; literature deepens it.
Plain: The film "Chariots of Fire" is about some young runners, but it is more than just that.
Interesting: The film "Chariots of Fire" is much more than just a story of young runners.
Plain: It is not his height but his weight that prevented him from competing in the race.
Interesting: His weight, not his height, prevented him from competing in the race.
Plain: Susan seemed unsuitable for the part, but she turned out to be the best actress in the production.
Interesting: Susan seemed unsuitable for the part, yet she turned out to be the best actress in the production.
Plain: Old Wang is often described as a happy-go-lucky person, but the last half hour of the hike home he was interested in nothing but a bath and a bed.
Interesting: Old Wang, an otherwise happy-go-lucky person, thought of only two things the last half hour of the hike home: a bath and a bed.
关于"if...then"和"if"从句
除了"but"从句，很多学英语的人还会过多使用"if … then"或是"if"从句。这些从句本身并不是不好。但我们这里讨论的是多样性及其必要性。看看下例：
Before: If you fail to pass the drug test, we will have to dismiss you from your job.
After: Failure to pass the drug test will result in job dismissal.
修改后的句子语气显得稍强一些。同时因为句中省掉了"you"，使句子在语气上减少了对抗性。这个解题对策适用于每种人称，不单单指"you"。
Plain: If one imitates, one cannot expect to be great.
Interesting: No person ever yet became great by imitation.
Plain: If we want to end a war quickly, we must lose it.
Interesting: The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.
Plain: If we were directed from government bureaucracy when to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread.
Interesting: Were we directed from government bureaucracy when to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread.
Plain: Several staff members have checked the manuscript to see if it is accurate and easy to use.
Interesting: Several staff members have checked the manuscript for accuracy and ease of use.
Plain: If words are taken out of context, they are not very likely to mean the same as they do when they are in context.
Interesting: Words taken out of context do not always mean what they do in context.
另一个被广为使用的从句是"even though"或"although"。请注意在此谈论的并不是句子的错误，我们强调的是文体风格问题。
Plain: Although they were very important in California, laundries were even more significant in other parts of the United States, for laundering was one of the four "pioneer" occupations that enabled Chinese to move eastward across the continent.
Interesting: Important as they were in California, laundries were even more significant in other parts of the United States, for laundering was one of the four "pioneer" occupations that enabled Chinese to move eastward across the continent.
Plain: Even though the summer of 1889 was the warmest on record, the winter of the same year was cold.
Interesting: The summer of 1889 was the warmest on record, followed by a cold winter.
关于"so...that..."或"such... that..."或"so..."从句
中国老师们经常大段大段地教授这些形式，并要求学生们不断练习。结果学生们过度依赖这些句式，就不怎么考虑别的用法了。
Plain: The comedian was so funny that as soon as he started talking people laughed.
Interesting: The comedian soon had them all laughing.
Plain: This is such an indispensable book that anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality should possess one.
Interesting: This is an indispensable book for anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality.
Plain: The professor was so quick-witted and so knowledgeable of the theater that he was instantly recognized as the best critic in his country.
Interesting: The professor’s quick wit and his awesome knowledge of the theater had won him instant recognition as the best critic in his country.
Plain: Jackie Chan was such a wonderful singer that his songs held eleven thousand people breathless.
Interesting: Jackie Chan’s songs held eleven thousand people breathless.
Weak: Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, so they could see only a blank wall surrounding them.
Better: Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, their only vista* a blank wall.
Plain: It was such an exhilarating experience that he felt dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.
Interesting: It was an exhilarating experience, one that left him dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.
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